|Heaven's Not Enough, Part 3|
King and Bailey get their happy ending...sort of.
Comic: ". . . Fuzzy" (click for full size)
|Number of Comics||22|
|Dates Published||July 28th - September 24th 2014|
|King, Bailey, Tarot, Sabrina, Pete, Spirit Dragon, Great Kitsune|
The Ineptitude of Spot
I Need A Vacation
Heaven's Not Enough, Part 3 is the 81st arc in Housepets!.
King comes to Keene, who doesn't believe the story about demigods kidnapping Bailey, and demands proof.
King takes off his stopwatch, which he was wearing wrapped around his collar, and throws it up in the air. He briefly appears as Joel. That's all the proof Keene needs. He admits to his earlier dealings with demigods, but says he's not insane to waste his resources trying to combat them. He says that's what Karishad has been doing, since he is insane. He's also been keeping in touch with Tarot by text message.
Cut to King and Fox on a plane headed to Australia with a small posse, including Rock, his cameraman Cameron, the other Daryl, and Karishad. Bruce and Roosevelt are on an unrelated trip to meet Bruce's parents. King explains the watch to Fox, but any memories of Heaven to him are like a vague dream (or a summer action blockbuster). He has two lapels on his bandana of the colors of the two females he hung out with. He wonders if their trip is why King called him "Casanova" earlier.
After stopping for supplies and renting two SUV's, they drive off into the Outback. But Karishad doesn't have actual directions. After a while of exploring, King does the direct approach, and mentions it would be easier for the others to find them. Tarot appears instantly. She says the lantern she gave King deadens the spiritual powers of lesser beings. King says whatever Tarot had planned, King has a different plan that they are going to do.
They reach the battlefield, where King appears with the lantern, neutralizing Sabrina and Bailey's powers. After everything is explained, Sabrina (who is suffering a headache from being suddenly disconnected psychically from Tarot and Dragon) initially doesn't care whether the fight is just to stroke the egos of superbeings or not. Rock tries to get her to hurry it up for the cameras, only for her to threaten him if he interferes further.
King reasons that choosing to participate in the Cosmic Game is a false choice. He says it would be better to give up their powers instead of using them just to try to get rewards they can earn anyway. Tarot says they can bring the game to a halt by refusing to further follow the orders of their masters. While the demigods can pester them in perpetuity, the mortals can choose to not follow their orders. While King is aware of how Pete can do that, Sabrina and Tarot note how whiny Spirit Dragon can be.
The contestants agree to go ahead and give up on the game. While King thinks they may be in the Outback for years, Daryl just suggests they head back in town for milkshakes.
Back in town, the posse sits down in a diner for milkshakes, with Bailey finally getting her prized pickle-and-cherry milkshake. The door opens, and they hear Pete and Dragon, both in anthro forms. They appear not to notice the mortals, and bicker at each other some about how bad the game has turned, accusing each other of cheating. Fox notes they're not as intimidating as he imagined.
Soon, Great Kitsune and Cerberus also arrive. Great Kitsune lifts the facade, revealing the mortals are present, and says they are all content on losing. He gives Spirit Dragon and Pete 10 minutes to convince them to resume the fight, or the game ends with all of them losing.
Spirit Dragon goes first, but Tarot and Sabrina are both fed up with her interference in their love lives. Pete is angry that King and Bailey are breaking their agreement, and gets a face full of Bailey's milkshake. King takes Bailey's paw, and says they will not be bullied; that the reward is not how they value their happiness. Pete tries to use King's inadequacies against him, only for Great Kitsune to call him out on his hypocrisy.
As Pete nears a breakdown, facing losing the game, Great Kitsune notes that infinite power means nothing when you can't lord over mortals with it. King realizes Tarot did not get the lantern from Dragon. Dragon tries to call Great Kitsune out for not being impartial, but he replies that "impartial" does not equal "uninvolved".
Pete snaps, and steals King's watch, demanding he fight, or he'll destroy it. Joel gets up, gets in Pete's beak, and simply says, "Is that the best you got, Chicken dinner?" Pete breaks down, saying mortals don't deserve Heaven, then whining about how mortals always get the happy endings.
He calms down when a concerned Cerberus touches his shoulder. He relaxes, and starts crying. He sinks down to his knees before Joel, and apologizes. Then Spirit Dragon sobs, saying she's a horrible person. Like last time this happened, it starts raining.
Sabrina asks Great Kitsune what happens now. He says everyone loses, and the mortals will slowly lose their powers. Sparks will remain, but nowhere near as powerful as before. He sentences both Pete and Spirit Dragon to a lifetime as a mortal, and sends them off with Cerberus to be incarnated. Joel speaks up, and reminds Great Kitsune he's still owed a boon. Great Kitsune says the human gets the best prize: a "sur-prize".
Great Kitsune takes Joel off and gives him two choices, represented by his stopwatch and the lantern. One will grant him his human form back, but with the promise of a much better life from then on. The other will allow him to remain a dog, but with no promises of how his life from then will go. Since King was a free agent, Great Kitsune had no way of predicting how his life would be. Joel comments that Great Kitsune has a way of making simple choices complicated, and he replies that it's his thing.
After a moment, Joel makes his decision, reaches for the stopwatch, and it fades to white.
King awakens laying under Fox and Bailey. Realizing he is a dog again, with the stopwatch gone, he says he was right, and jumps into Bailey's arms, the drama finally over.
Except for one thing: They're still in Australia. Great Kitsune notes to Cerberus that the whole "wake up" bit is overplayed as he watches Karishad fix up their SUV.
- Fox reveals he can't remember what happened in heaven.
- King learns the cosmic lantern cancels out the powers of celestials.
- King reunites with Bailey, Tarot and Sabrina.
- The Cosmic Game comes to an end when everyone decides to stop fighting, causing Pete and Spirit Dragon both to lose, costing them their powers and are sentenced to a lifetime of mortality.
- Tarot and Sabrina lose their enhanced psychic abilities.
- King chooses to remain as a dog forever, and the stopwatch vanishes.
- Everyone is left stranded in Australia.
- The alt text in the comic Montage Power is an excerpt of the "Showdown" song from the Strong Bad Email Montage from the webtoon Homestar Runner.
- Bailey is seen drinking a pickle and cherry milkshake.
- Great Kitsune's joke about the kettle wanting the know if Pete's also black is a reference to the phrase "The pot calling the kettle black," used when someone is being hypocritical.
- Spirit Dragon crying making it rain had previously happened in THE GALLIFRAX PROTOCOL.